11th June 2008
Celebrant: Brigid Harbour
A Humanist Celebration of the Life of
Anthony John Steele
30th July 1962 – 31st May 2008
Opening Music
Opening Words
We meet together today to say goodbye to, but more importantly to celebrate the life of a much-loved man – Tony Steele.
Tony, as most of you know, was not religious, and so his family have decided to have a Humanist funeral.
They have asked me to lead our time here today on their behalf. My name is Brigid and I am a member of the Humanist Ceremonies Network.
I didn’t know Tony but I have had the privilege of being introduced to him through talking with Zoe, his family and his friends. This tribute is a collection of just a few of the thoughts and memories they shared with me.
There may be some amongst you for whom a religious belief is important. So, whilst I won’t be saying any prayers, there will be a time, later in the ceremony, for quiet reflection or, if you wish, to say a silent prayer.
The music we will hear today has been chosen for its special meaning to Tony’s life.
Today is a difficult day for all of you who knew and loved Tony. When someone dies, so young and so suddenly the feelings of sadness, unfairness, anger or sheer disbelief can be overwhelming.
When our bodies give us pain we take a pill to make it go away but there are no pills for grief.
Well meaning people try to help with phrases such as ‘time heals’ or ‘you will get over it eventually.’
But of course you don’t ‘get over’ grief. And you can’t go round it or through it either.
It’s too big and it’s too heavy. The only thing you can do is to sit down with it and wait. In time, with luck and the support and patience of those who love you, a strange thing happens.
Somehow you grow around the grief. Eventually you grow big enough and strong enough to carry it around with you.
It doesn’t get smaller. You get bigger, until the loss becomes part of you.
It never goes away completely, but then you wouldn’t want it to. The only time there are no tears is when there has been no love. It is the price we pay for our greatest joy - love and friendship.
No wise words can make it better. What we can do is celebrate a man who packed so much into his life and who is remembered with so much love and with laughter.
Tribute
Tony was born at home on the 30th July 1962 to Shirley and John Steele. He was the baby of the family, following his eldest brother Michael and his sister Jacqueline. He grew up in Sunroyd Hill Wakefield and his mother remembers he was a lovely, cute, active kid, a bit of a nuisance, and just like you would want your kids to be. He enjoyed rugby and football, but from an early age, his real love was anything that went Brrruuuuuumm. When he was about 10 he got interested in Go Carting so his dad took him to the track and was always there to support and cheer him on.
As a teenager he had a trail bike and legging it down the road one evening as a teenager he was stopped by the police. The bike had to be mothballed until he was old enough to have a licence – so he put it in his bedroom. When the council decided to insulate all the houses on the estate Tony’s mum became known as the lady with a motorbike in the bedroom!
His passion for all things mechanical showed up in his school reports where he did OK in other subjects but gained a distinction in Motor Craft Studies.
At 17 he joined the army in the REME but his career was cut short when he broke his ankle. His reference from his commanding officer described Tony as “determined, trustworthy, reliable, hard working and honestâ€
